127 Minutes!

 Hey! Guess who?? Not James Franco, it's Olivia!! LOL

Gone with the Wind

Today the group and I are going on a horseback ride to an Incan site (I know- why not llamas??). This may sound like fun, but everytime I think about it, I remember a good friend of mine who was injured when thrown off a horse. Someone who fought tooth and nail to get where they were, spend hours caring for their horse (who came from Bailey & Barnum's) only to be betrayed by an equuine foe. Well. Unlike my friend William Shatner, this girl isn't going to take any chances.

I YouTube'd videos on how to assert your dominence over a horse, and found a few helpful tips:

1. Eye contact is more effective when the eyes actually touch
2. Horses have no pain receptors in their mane, snout or genitals; don't be affraid to wail on these to get what you want
3. Horses aren't dumb animals; a metal shiv held threateningly to the neck won't go unnoticed
4. Rather than using the typical horse calls of "Woah!" or "Hi Ho Silver!" try some more modern language (e.g., "Let's bounce!" or "Move your f***** a** you inbred piece of s***!"
5. Horses like to eat, and don't like to starve; use this to your advantage

Now, I'm probably just being a worry-butt. I'm sure it'll be fun, and I'll end up with a temporary infatuation with horses, and insist that I want one (Until we go to a pigmy-goat farm! Then I'll want one of thsoe!!) I think the thing that bugs me most, is that this is the one time I would be able to wear my cowboy boots, and look like a legit cowgirl. It's just not fair. I'd look sooooooo cute!!! See for yourselves in this dramatic rendition I did (it's not the best, but it took me a while so be nice!!)

Until next time,
.:Liv:.

Out and About!

Just a few quick photo-updates. More to come! ~Liv



Until 1997, Peru's Cristo del Cocaína

was the world's largest cocaine-based

sculpture (thanks a lot CHINA!)



Getting around in Peru takes some getting used to.

 



Here, Katie demonstrates her efficiency by

 simultaneously trivializing multiple cultures
for her own amusement.



The real reason I travelled 3700 miles--PUPPIES!!!

 







 





Bestiality in Peru often results
 in serious birth defects, as seen in
 these girls and their Siamese-goats.



I had to Photoshop out the smoke and flames,
but still a good picture of me!





 





 

Sean said he plans on using this trip to
 jump start his modelling career.

The doctors tried, but they couldn't save Kath's hand.
 They DID give her a replacement-parrot.
He's so cute!!!





A Day in the Life

 We've been in Cusco for a few days now and I'm starting to like it. At first I was reluctant to let my guard down and settle in, but then after a while I just stopped fighting it. It's actually kind of weird. It's like after being here a few days, and taking the daily smallpox-vacciene pill the government supplies to everyone, I'm just so much less inhibited. I dunno. Maybe it has something to do with my recent and intense urges to oppose democratic systems of government...eh. Who knows!

This is a view of the university. Believe it or not, the building
was built in 1999, and it one of the most prestegious schools
in the entire country! (Also, I go there LOL!!!!)

Anyway, I realized that I haven't really given all my blog readers (hi Mom!!!) a proper tour of my new lifestyle! What am I-- some kind of capitalist pig-dog?? NO! So here's a little bit about Olivia in Peru! Note: Not to be confused with BOLIVIA in Peru, which is a country- duhhh! (good observation, Mom!!!)

I'm currently taking classes at the Universitad del Sendero Luminoso (formerly 'The Guevara Institute of Glorious Red Peru'). It's a small school, but they offer a variety of study topics. As for me, I'm taking a bunch of classes about rocks and magic or whatever- but let's be honest. I did not come here to learn. I CAME HERE TO PARTY!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!

We're staying at one of the nicest hotels in Cusco, and it's only a 20 minute donkey ride to the city center. The rooming situation is as follows:

Denise and I in our hotel room.

• Denise and I
• Kath and Sara
• Katie and Guillermo (some random Brazilian guy)
• Suey and Rachel
• Sean and a goat

 The group leaders stay in a house a little while away. They say the hotel "is haunted". LOL, what did I say about everything being cursed??

The city itself is cute. I like it. We went on a tour of it the other day; here are a few of the more notable sights. 

The American embassy

The local government offices







The steps to the headquarters of the Peruvians
with Disabilities Association







A policeman stopped to let us take his picture!







So hopefully that gives you a better idea of what my daily life is like. If not, sucks to suck!  (I am SO bad XD )

Anywhooooooo, much luv and kisses

7+$*Liv*$+7

Nice to MEAT You

 Heyyyyyy guys! Liv hereeeeeeeee. Just wanted to tell everyone about our latest trip, cause it was totally awesome!! We went to a traditional Peruvian llama/alpaca farm and slaughterhouse! It was sooooo cool!

The place was a 9th generation business that very much integrated with the 20th century. They had water, sunlight- all the niceties of Victorian England! Not to mention the llamas- they were so cute!!!



They looked so good- I could
hardly resist TAKING A BITE!






Here's a calorie chart for the different animals.

   







No snacking before dinner, KATH!! LOL



I feel like the Candy-Cottage witch; feeding
them to fatten up and eat! YUM!





  



After we played around with the llamas for a little, the owner told us that we could choose any llama we wanted to be slaughtered and take home with us as food! Of course I wanted the baby llama, but Katie and Sara insisted that we eat the biggest ones- um, girls, did you SEE that calorie chart?? LOL. It worked out in the end; we decided that no one felt comfortable eating llama meat (except Denise, who spent the whole day just screaming about how llamas killed her family, and that she would make them pay- i dunno, she's silly) But we decided on a much more tender and succulent meat, and let me tell you it was DELICIOUS! What was it you ask? Oh, that's one secret I'll never tell ;)

xoxo

|<~*Liv*~>|

Jumping beans?! That says LIMA beans!!!

CHOO CHOOOO! Move over Carrie Bradshaw- there's a new group of girls in the city! Here's comes the party train!!!!

Legend has it that one of those skulls
 belonged to the former president of Peru.

So today we went out and about in Lima (the city, not a bean!) which is the capital of Peru. The city has both a rich historic and cultural heritage, but that's not why we came- we came to shop!!! LOL! There were soooo many cute clothing stores, and I just wanted to buy everything. Literally, everything. I legitimately wanted to purchase a second-hand men's sport coat that had bullet holes in it (in retrospect I'm glad I didn't) Denise found this one store where they sold all sorts of old artifacts; mostly bones and trinkets, but it was cool. She bought the skull of a Marxist to bring home for her little brother. I should probably get Gabe something like that; he likes history and the arcane magics.

After walking around and window shopping, we decided to go to the Plaza del Fuego Negro and walk around the park there.  It was really pretty and we had lots of fun.

Katie had fun playing with the 'wildlife' LOL

Here's us being typical tourists -
just couldn't resist!!

Walking back from the park, we were confronted with a few of Peru's stranger customs. Apparently, in one of those old laws that everyone forgets about, there's a loophole in which a man is legally allowed to marry an animal as a wife (but a woman can't do the same - way to be progressive Peru...) Although not common, it's not unheard of for men to be married to alpacas, lamas, goats, exotic birds, and like this man that we saw- dogs! (Sorry Freddie!!)

Her name was Fermina, after the character in
the book "Love in the Time of Canine Distemper"

Ok, well that's all for now, but I'll be sure to keep you all updated! I think tomorrow we're going to some churches (uh oh- hope I don't get struck by lightning LOL!!!!!)

Until next time,

{~*Liv*~}

Lions and Tigers and Bears- Oh My!!

Peru can be a dangerous place. Aside from the machine gun-toting gangs and communist cells that roam the streets, there are a number of potentially dangerous things to watch out for. FOR INSTANCE.

We recently visited the excavation site of The Valley of The Hidden Choxca. As you can see, there are no roads in Peru; narrow wooden planks are the main component of Peruvian infrastructure. These are often old, and icky, and if you lose your balance, there's a good chance you could fall and twist an ankle- or even get a splinter! Ouch!

Inti the Sun God wasn't the only one
protecting his land.  Here a sign is
posted warning  trespassers that if
they enter, their hands will be cut off.

And I don't even want to mention the curses. Oh boy. This is cursed, that is cursed- you can't go anywhere without angering some Incan deity. Those guys must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed LOL!





Once we finished digging up the baby skulls and Ulama balls, we were headed back to our hostel. At lease that's what we THOUGHT.

No sooner had we gotten on Plank-95 than a bus-full of feral children pulled up and tried to kidnap me!

Luckily, we had the machetes that the study group issued us, and were able to hack their little hands in time to free me -- now who's trespassing handless?? LOL!

Now you're thinking- hey Olivia, how can this day get any WEIRDER, right? Well walking back to the hotel, lying in the middle of a street was the dead corpse of a real live chupacabra. I know, I didn't think they were real either! But there it was! Covered in goat's blood and everything! Our tour guide said that they are everywhere around here, and this one was probably hit by a passing cart. One things for sure- better him than me!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Until next time,

xoxo

~Liv~